You Still Take Me By Surprise
by EmilyRose97
Summary: -written for MissElliexXxXx St Berry competition- Rachel hears Jesse singing a song meant for her during the break at regionals, and as the judges make their decission, Rachel has to make hers too. Sad St Berry. R&R please!


**Author note: This is for MissElliexXxXx's St Berry competition. It's for the sad category. I'm not expecting this to be great, I've had other fics on my mind, but please R&R it seriously makes my day. And remember, enjoy! **

Rachel came out of the bathroom, smiling. The judges were in their room, discussing the winners, and she was sure they would at least place, even with Sue Sylvester trying to destroy them. She began to walk back to the New Directions dressing room when she heard the music coming from one of the practise rooms. She went to stand by the door, which had been left ajar.

Falling a thousand feet per second  
You still take me by surprise  
I just know we can't be over  
I can see it in your eyes

Rachel recognised the voice. Of course, only Jesse St. James was confident enough to come and play the piano while everyone waited for the judge's decision. Arrogant git she thought. She went to move away from the door, which had been left ajar, but to her surprise, she found she couldn't.

_Making every kind of silence  
Takes a lot to realize  
It's worse to finish than to start all over  
And never let it lie  
And as long as I can feel you holding on  
I won't fall  
Even if you said I was wrong_

Jesse sat at the piano, his hands dancing over the keys. He knew Rachel was standing, hidden behind the door. He could just tell. So he sung, louder than ever, trying to get across the message. Of course it hadn't been coincidence that Rachel just so happened to walk past the door as he begun to play. Jesse just hoped she appreciated the song lyrics and the message he was trying to get across.

_I'm not perfect  
But I keep trying  
Cause that's what I said  
I would do from the start  
I'm not alive if I'm lonely  
So please don't leave  
Was it something I said  
Or just my personality_

Rachel's heart fluttered. Could he know she was there? Was he playing this for her to hear, hoping she'd pick up the lyrics? She sighed to herself. Who was she kidding. Jesse had come here to play the piano, not to try and secretly tell her he was sorry. Rachel knew his ego was bigger than to admit her was wrong. But she couldn't help admiring how easily he hit the high notes.

_Making every kind of silence  
It takes a lot to realize  
It's worse to finish than to start all over  
And never let it lie  
And as long as I can feel you holding on  
I won't fall  
Even if you said I was wrong_

The beat and volume increased, and Jesse poured as much emotion into the song as possible, hoping that the eavesdropping brunette standing outside the door would feel it, and know how he felt.

_I know that I'm not perfect  
But I keep trying  
Cause that's what I said  
I would do from the start  
I'm not alive if I'm lonely  
So please don't leave  
Was it something I said  
Or just my personality  
_

Rachel thought this song was quite suited to her. The message was right, and it showed of her vocal range. She made a note to use this during a glee assignment. At least Jesse had now given her something positive to counter the negative he'd left behind him.

_When you're caught in a lie  
And you've got nothing to hide  
When you've got nowhere to run  
And you've got nothing inside  
It tears right through me  
You thought that you knew me  
You thought that you knew_

I'm not perfect  
But I keep trying  
Cause that's what I said  
I would do from the start  
I'm not alive if I'm lonely  
So please don't leave  
Was it something I said  
Or just my personality

Jesse nodded his head to the beat, really getting into the song. He put all his passion into it, and, for a 'souless automaton' he managed to make the song very heart felt.

_I'm not perfect  
But I keep trying  
Cause that's what I said  
I would do from the start  
I'm not alive if I'm lonely  
So please don't leave  
Was it something I said  
Or just my, just my  
Self, just myself  
Myself, just myself  
_

Jesse sighed, before singing the last line.

_I'm not perfect  
But I keep trying_

There was silence in the room, filled only by emotion. Then Jesse spoke.

"You know Rachel, you can enter the room if you like. It's more of the done thing, rather than standing outside the whole time." He smirked to himself.

Outside, Rachel was shocked. So he'd known she was there. She smiled. Maybe she _could_ kid herself that the song had been a message to her. Rachel slowly pushed the door open, and stepped inside the room. She shut the door carefully behind her, before turning to look at Jesse. She was momentarily stunned, contrasting feelings contesting to be her main thought.

Jesse just sat there with his eyebrows raised, smirking. While he hid behind his arrogance, he took time to look at Rachel, really look. His heart pounded. God she looks good in gold, he thought.

Rachel smiled slightly. "Pink suits you." She told him teasingly.

Jesse's smirk widened. Obviously Rachel had been checking him out the same way he had her. He patted the piano stool next to him, motioning Rachel to sit down. She hesitated before crossing the room and sitting down. There was a moment of silence.

"So, err, Rach." Jesse begun, wanting to do and say so many things, all of which he knew wouldn't go down well. "I saw you perform."

"You were watching?" She said, confused, as she hadn't seem him in the audience. And she had been looking. Jesse just nodded. "What did you think then?" Rachel asked.

"Well, once I got over the fact that you actually let anyone else sing, which seriously surprised me, I thought it wasn't too bad." Jesse grinned at her.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Mr Schuester convinced me that it would make us seem more like a group if they had lines of solo too. Not that I went down without a fight."

Jesse smiled, resisting the urge to hug her, to kiss her, to hold her. He looked into her eyes and could see the hurt that he'd left there. But he also saw the love that had been there since the day they'd met, and many other conflicting feelings. I'll just have to play on those, Jesse thought.

"I saw you perform too." Rachel told him. "Very bold, trying to be Freddy Mercury."

"And did I pull it off?" Jesse asked.

Rachel looked up at him, distracted for a moment to see Jesse watching her so intently. She could almost make herself believe that he wanted her, and that he was looking at her with love.

"Well?" Jesse prompted.

"What… Oh, right. Yes, you're performance was very musically sound." Rachel chose her words carefully, something she didn't usually do.

"And what did you think of my little performance just now? Was there enough emotion in there to please you?"

"Yes. It was full of heart. Unusual for you Vocal Adrenaline lot."

Jesse smirked. "The New Directions way of doing things must have rubbed off on me."

Rachel smiled at him, looking up into his eyes. She didn't see the same hard look in his eyes that she had seen when he'd egged her. She saw what she had seen back in the music store, and in the weeks to follow. What she had believed was love.

Jesse looked back at her, frowning slightly. He'd always been able to read her emotions easily, but he was having trouble working out what she was thinking now. Obviously she wasn't as willing to let him in again as he'd hoped. He decided to just be open about it.

"Look, Rach." Jesse wasn't sure how to do this. He was the automaton he'd been taught to be. The fact that he'd liked her had come as a shock to him. "That song I sung. I wanted you to hear it, for you to get the message. I meant it, and, what I didn't mean was what I said and did to you before. Because, I really did love you. And, I think I still do."

Rachel looked up at him, shocked. From what she could tell, he was being sincere, but, then again, the whole of their relationship had just been an acting exercise, so she wasn't sure whether she could tell when he was pretending or not. She didn't know what was real and what wasn't with this boy. She wanted so much to be able to tell him how she felt, but she was too scared of more hurt and more heartbreak from him.

Rachel took a breath, still torn, but knowing she had to break the silence that ticked on. Then, a bell went out, calling everyone back onstage. Jesse sighed.

"I'll talk to you later, ok?" He told her, before rushing out of the room to join his team. Rachel walked slowly after him, heading back to New Directions.

-On stage-

Rachel grasped her teammates hands, smiling at them all. Her eyes rested on Finn. The guy she'd chased for a year. He gave her a crooked smile, and she returned it automatically, her heart swelling in pride at what her 'rag tag bunch of kids' had managed.

"And, the winner of the 2010 Ohio National competition is…. Vocal Adrenaline!" Sue Sylvester, the long time hater of New Directions announced.

Everything went into slow motion for Rachel. She saw Vocal Adrenaline being handed the trophy that she'd dreamed about, she saw Jesse yelling in delight, hugging his teammates and her mother. She saw as he turned to look at her, she saw the strange look in his eye, and she saw as Mr Schue was handed a tiny trophy, almost as if their performance had been a joke. Rachel saw all of this and more. And it helped her to decide.

-Backstage-

Rachel walked down the corridor, about to go and find her fathers when she heard her name called. She turned, already knowing who it was. And there he stood, Jesse St James, winner's trophy in hand. He gave her a small smile, and shrugged.

"Congratulations Jesse." Rachel told him, nodding slightly at the trophy.

"Yeah thanks." He said awkwardly. "Commiserations to you, you probably should have beaten Aural Intensity."

"Probably?" Rachel teased gently.

"Definitely then." Jesse gave in, smiling slightly. "So, err, did you think about what I said?" He asked, feeling a dork. Why had he told her that? It was so out of character for him. He sighed.

"Yes I did. But, thing is Jesse, that trophy is a metaphor of our relationship. And metaphors are important." Rachel told him, her heart aching but knowing she had to say this. "The trophy is another example of something you've taken away from me, something you've tainted. I felt strongly about you Jesse, I probably still do, but…" She sighed, not looking at him. "You've hurt me, and, I'm not going to be with a guy who does that to me, no matter how many cute songs or love declarations he pounds me with. We were always Romeo and Juliet, and, they didn't work out. Neither did we. I'm sorry Jesse, but goodbye."

Rachel turned, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She walked slowly down the corridor and through the doors, leaving Jesse standing there in shock. His eyes were starting to feel wet, and his heart felt like someone had stomped on it. He swallowed; realising Rachel must have felt like this after all he had done to her. Jesse looked down at his hand, still holding the comically large trophy. He blinked at it, and a single tear fell onto it, symbolising what this trophy had cost him.

**I know, it's very dramatic. XD But drama is good, Jesse likes it, and I like Jesse. This was something I threw together, but please tell me what you think. I really love getting reviews. Ps. Song- Perfect by Hedley. I seriously suggest you listen to it, it's so awesome. R&R please. Like I said, reviews make my day :)**


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